How long has it been? Four days. Eh, not terrible. But not good.
Things were a little crazy this weekend--I worked a twelve hour shift at the pretzel shoppe (meh) and that was long. I'm currently eating strawberry cheesecake yogurt, which you would think would be great, but in fact, it's not so good. I'm not feeling so good in my tummy either, so maybe I shouldn't be eating cultured bacteria, but I was soooooo hungry.
And now I'm not. Jobs #1 and #2 are still frustrating, surprise surprise. My bosses will be back the Monday after next, so I won't be able to screw off as much. On another note, a girl just came into my office and was a complete bitch (like you do).
Sigh. All right. My long lunch is over, and I should probably get back to real work. Hope all is well!
So, shit. I didn't post yesterday either. Le damn. Still, on the whole, I'm doing spectacularly better than I did last time, and from this point on, I'll post everyday. Really. Truly. I had a long, involved bitch session yesterday with my roommate, especially about this person we both dislike, and it actually felt fairly good to get it off my chest, but then I read the following:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
and started to feel bad. And it's very true. This is generally my defense for being such a go-getter. I make mistakes, sure, and maybe more than other people who never try desperately to live up to their full potential, but at least I'm trying. Same with taking on too much, or failing often, I suppose. At least I'm trying. I don't want to be a "cold and timid soul who knows neither victory nor defeat."
I also don't want to go to my other job today.
Quick! List of things to do:
Finish unpacking car
Write Mitchell personal statement
Go grocery shopping
Write short short
Write long short
IG study guide
Inevitably, more to be added later.
I'm contemplating whether or not I ought to just make this journal private. Not because I don't want anyone to read what I'm writing, but because I seldom have anything interesting to say. This has really just become a really convenient notepad that's always with me. An internet planner, if you will. I'm highly disappointed in myself for breaking my promise to update.
Hmm. I guess I do have something of some substance to ramble about today. I was contemplating something on my way from work to school today. Why is it so difficult to have willpower? I mean, everything (most everything) you want to accomplish (getting A's in school, losing weight, getting a promotion, saving money) is a matter of sacrificing one thing for another. Sacrificing chocolate during the day to be thinner and being happier with yourself. Getting up early to run but sacrificing sleep will make you healthier in the long run. Sitting down to study when you'd rather be seeing a movie helps grades. Everything is about sacrifice. So why is sacrifice so hard? I mean, I'm not Sydney Carton giving up my life so that the woman I love can be with my doppelganger. This is about getting up an hour earlier three times a week. Why is it so hard? Any insight?
Mon, Jul. 3rd, 2006, 11:29 pm
disappointment
argh. sad that i missed posting on saturday and sunday, but had to do this to catch monday. more later. tomorrow, rather. Fri, Jun. 30th, 2006, 02:02 pm
#10
This is day ten in a row, which is pretty much amazing for me. I've had a medical problem recently that is equal parts embarrassing and painful, and I've discerned that it's not getting any better, but I've already been to the doctor, and I don't really know what else to do. It's frightening me a little.
( oh, money. )
Well, that's unsatisfyingly inexact. It's 2:36 and I'm at work. For some reason, everyone is driving me up the wall, but I'm willing to concede that it might be partially me. Or not. Maybe Crystal Lite will help... A little better.
Is it bad that I just want to crawl into bed tonight? Maybe with a movie? I'd like it to be with a pizza, but I need to fight that urge. Hmm. I'm not terribly insightful today, or really all of this week, it's true.
As things have only gotten worse, I feel compelled to add this:
( i want to vanish )
WTF?
I was charged 64.88 for an 8 minute credit-card phone call from Ireland to the USofA! BASTARDS!
( money stuff )
Yawn. It's 4:54. I'm not sure why I'm awake, but I am, so I'm trying to make use of it. Currently uploading Ireland pictures, because Amy shamed me into it. Then, writing my first CRW short assignment, a personal statement for Marshall or Mitchell, and working out. Shower, dress, work. AIDS clinic. At least I don't have to start at Auntie Anne's until Saturday (job #3)! On another note, why is photobucket so slow? It's not like I'm updating 19 pictures at a time?! (Yes, it is.)
Meh. Not much is coming on this writing assignment. Anyway- must post. Will likely edit later. :)
SUCCESS! FINALLY!
Here is my Ireland album, which has roughly four million (300 something) pictures in it. I certainly don't expect you to care to see all of them, but please peruse. You can either look at the thumbnails and click the ones you want to see more closely, or watch it as a slideshow, which is possibly easier.
Ireland Pictures!
ETA, one more time: Here's my first assignment for my fiction writing class. It's supposed to be 250 words, then stop, so there you go:
( Number Forty-Seven )
( money stuff )
Ahem. I'm running late this morning, surprise surprise, but I actually read my friends page, which is exciting. More later, I imagine.
eta: I'm troubled-- not upset/troubled, but just unsettled inside at the moment. I just read a fic that was both absolutely fabulous and extremely sad (as they all are, I think), and it got me thinking about a theme that I consider arguably one of the saddest of all themes dealing with love: love!realized!too!late. I had one particularly devastating experience with this during my frivolous high school years, and while now it's only a glimmer of pain, a slight twinge, I can still remember when it was red hot, and I don't know that I'm likely to forget it. It's difficult, though, because I find that in most cases, as in the fic I read, it's only when Too!Late!Character sees that they are, in fact, too late, that they truly realize how much they really loved Character B. Does that make their love for Character B less legitimate? On the way to work this morning I contemplated, very briefly, what life without David would be like, but what really hit me was the slice-through feeling I would feel if I saw him with someone else, doing the things he used to do with me. Is this just an extention of the old adage 'you never know what you have until it's gone'? Why is it in our nature not to know?
Eh. This is all silly!Orlando's fault for not realizing that he really DID love Viggo.
So, there's really no money update, as I didn't write down the amount of the Chili's bill, but I think it was like 16.something, still holding steady otherwise at:
ST: 88.13
P1: 83.76 (and the phantom 13 charge)
So yeah. I'm eating this special fiber-filled (59% of your daily value) cereal that David got me, and it's literally inedible. It's arguably the grossest thing I've eaten in a long time, and I'm trying to decide whether or not to finish it. I've made a valiant effort, and gotten pretty close, but I don't know if I can handle this.
Yick. Yesterday I had my first political science class, and I didn't believe it was possible, but POS kids (as I like to call them) are even more painful to listen to than history kids, who are pretty painful in their own right. It's amazing.
Sadly, out of time. Hopefully will update further later... for now, off to work. :(
16:22
Okay, so the more I look at my default icon, the more I miss my hair, so I guess I should stop. Yawn. I'm at work, but my supervisor's out so I'm just sitting at this desk and fucking around. She gave me a job before she left, but it's a request for creative output, and I'm just not in any shape to be providing that right now. I'm thinking, though. Don't get me wrong. Yech. I need a ( schedule )
( boring money stuff )
So anyway... that was just a money update. I'm off to take a shower and get ready for work (from hell), and then class. Will update more later.
ETA: Embarassing bathroom incident. Enough said. For now.
Okay, that was a very very long 6 hours at work, but I'm leaving in 13 minutes, which is very exciting. I wish that I were jumping immediately into bed, but unfortunately, I'm not-- I'm on my way to class.
Sun, Jun. 25th, 2006, 06:52 am
icons!
P1: 44.68-16.43(bed stuff)=28.25
ST: still holding steady at 88.13. (Hopefully,) it's going to be a good day.
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